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13 January 1999 - 6:03pm
I've just changed this journal around slightly to make it much easier to read. If you read the entries from the very beginning, then they will flow on from each other, rather than reading from the latest entry backwards. I don't know why I didn't do this before... The only section that will be shown backwards will always be the current week - when you click on the button for the latest week, it will always go to the bottom, where the latest entry is.

After speaking to MissA today, it seems that Isabel likes me, and finds me easy to talk to. I'm glad to hear that, as I hope to talk to her again when she returns from Sydney, and I can learn much more about her. You never know, this might be the start of a wonderfully long adventure...

I've also decided to change just slightly the writing style for this journal. I intend to continue as I have been, but to add the occasional pondering of the mysteries of life - at least, the mysteries as they relate to me.

I don't think I've mentioned before my spiritual beliefs. It's about time that I mentioned them, as I intend talking more about my spiritual beliefs in here.

If I'm forced to put my beliefs into a category, then I'd call it spirituality. I believe in the existence of spirits, reincarnation, karma, etc. I live my life according to my beliefs on karma - what goes around comes around - and so I always think about what I want to acheive from my actions. Will doing it hurt anyone else in any way, or hurt me? Will doing it benefit me or someone else? Those are often questions that go through my mind. If there's ever a negative response from myself in answer to those questions, then I'm likely to either find some other way of doing it, or not do it at all.

I also follow with a passion the following motto - It's better to attempt something great and fail, than attempt nothing and succeed. I'm not afraid of failure, because only through the risk of failure are my possible rewards worthwhile. What I mean by that is that the greater the reward, so is the greater the risk of failure and yet, by avoiding the risks we are also avoiding the rewards.

I want to be a teacher of spirituality, however I know that it's going to be some years yet before I feel I'm ready to do this properly. Some years ago I ran a spiritual development group, which eventually evolved to a personal development group when I realised I can't teach people how to change their reality when they didn't understand how they fit into their reality in the first place. It was worthwhile for them and they got their rewards from it, and it was worthwhile for me as well - we teach most what we need to learn. And I needed to learn how to be an effective teacher - I learnt that I needed to learn a whole lot more. Life goes on, and it is my progression through life and the interaction I have with other people which I'm using as my training.

So now you know a little bit more about me. 

Seek always for the answer within.
Be not influenced by those around you,
by their thoughts or their words.




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2001 Alan Howard