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8 January 1999 - 8:50pm
I've just finished watching both Star Trek: Generations, and Star Trek: First Contact - a little bit of a Star Trek festival for myself. I own widescreen versions of all the movies (except for the latest one), so these 'festivals' happen every now and again. I get a really good feeling when I watch Star Trek. The acting is superb, the stories are great, the special effects are excellent, and the vision for the future is inspirational. I am inspired every time I see it.

I met MissA today at a cafe. It was great to finally meet someone whom I have excellent conversations with on ICQ. It was also good to note that the excellent conversations weren't just limited to messaging over the internet, as we were both very much at ease with each other, talking about all sorts of things. Two hours went by very quickly, and then it was a return to the real world. *smile* 

Did you realise that this journal is not only a view into my life, but is also an exercise for me in creative writing? I think that's the appropriate term for it. My goal is not only to tell you about myself and my activities, but also to make it interesting enough for you to want to come back to it regularly. For that reason, I've started asking people to read this and give me feedback on what they think of it. So far, the results are encouraging. I was thinking that maybe, if people didn't find this interesting, I might have to change the way I write about things, but it seems that those who read it think that it's already worthwhile reading. That's good enough for me to continue as I have been.

I have another friend on ICQ, someone else who I haven't met yet, but who I also have great conversations with. I have this desire that comes into action automatically whenever I get along with someone online. The desire is to meet them, to see if the "virtual" friendship that we have can also become a "real" friendship. In the case of this person in question at the moment, I'm having a small problem. Unfortunately they've had a bad experience in the past, with some morons, and so they're hesitant to meet someone new. It's a real shame too, because we both share very similar views and attitudes towards life, we're both positive minded. I enjoy being around other like-minded people, so I'm feeling sad that this person can't get over their fear. But these things happen. As I'm writing this, we are discussing this very topic. This morning, I decided that I would never meet her, even if she wanted to. Because of her past and the way she feels about it, if we met I'd be thinking she was meeting me out of feelings of obligation, and I'd be uncomfortable with that.

The weird thing is, now that I've made this decision, she's telling me that she wants to meet me now. 

I was talking with MissA today about destiny, how some things are meant to happen. Some things are meant to happen more than anything else, and no matter what we can do, they'll happen. Sometimes we can run away from something, but it'll end up happening anyway. I often wonder how many things in my life are moments of destiny. And I look forward to discovering destiny too.

All we see or seem
is but a dream within a dream.



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2001 Alan Howard