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30 May 1999 - 8:50pm
It's been a damn busy few weeks. I've been working on two major websites, as well as creating quotes and tender bids for two more, one of which is a large Federal government website. I've also started learning new software, which is always a lot of fun.

Since my last entry, a lot has happened with those women who have wanted to come into my life in some fashion. Nothing happened with 'goddess' and so, as I mentioned in my last email, I focussed on the English lady. That became so incredible, I was living in heaven. However, that seems to have ended tonight.  Last week and tonight, she went through a crisis of belief. It was resolved last week, but I don't know if it will happen again after this occasion.

I feel so sad. 

I'm sad because so much energy was expended, but all of it seems to have been for nothing. 

Life goes through twists and turns, and when you start noticing those twists and turns, you know you're hurting.

I'm noticing twists and turns right now, so I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

I think I'll become a hermit.

If you would learn
the secret
of right relations
look only for the divine
in people and things,
and leave all the rest to God.



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2001 Alan Howard