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The
Journal of Alan Howard
1st May 2001
I'd like to talk a little bit
about Venus, the Goddess of Love. Well, she's not really a
'Goddess', but she's one in my eyes, at least. Everything
in my past has been preparing me for the person I'm meant to be
with this woman. Everything has come together for this
time in my life. When she moves down here to Wellington,
we're going to be moving in together. I'm so looking
forward to that... it's wonderful being with her whenever
we're together, and I just can't wait until we're together all
the time.
I've realised that I've been chasing a certain person all my
life, someone to be with forever. This certain person has
a certain attitude, which I never thought about until only
recently. The best relationships I've had in the past have
been with those women who've had those attitudes, and there's
been a pattern that I've only just realised. The pattern
is that they've already got children of their own, and they've
developed this certain attitude because of their experiences in
life and the children that they have. The first awesome
relationship I had was nearly 10 years ago, with Estera, who had
two boys. The second awesome relationship I had was in
'99, with 'Missy', who also had two children - a boy and a
girl. The third awesome relationship is with Venus, who
really, I've only just met, but already so much has happened
between us to make the future incredible. And she has two
boys. I realised that the woman I've been looking for has
the personality and attitude that only can be obtained by having
children.
I've also felt for most of my adult life so far that the woman
of my dreams would have children of her own before I came onto
the scene. Venus has been the third 'woman of my dreams'
to come into my life. Third time lucky?
While we can never predict the future, or guarantee an
eventuality, I feel that there's a permanency with Venus that
I've never felt before. Even though there's no
guarantee of us being together for the rest of our lives, I know
that I'm tired of playing the relationship game. I don't
want any more relationships - I just want to relax. I want
this to be permanent, and I'll do everything I can to make it
that way.
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