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25 February 1999 - 2am
Well, the pain is not as bad. That's a bonus.

I got some x-rays done today, and took them to the chiropractor. It seems that I have a scoliatic curve in my spine, which is probably what's causing the undue pressure. My spine is out of alignment, and so is my pelvis because of it. My chiropractor wants to fix it... hey, that's fine by me! Getting it all fixed is my idea of an ideal solution.

Scot wants me to work for him again in the office for a couple of weeks from next week. I'm not sure if I can or want to though. I'll just have to see what happens.

I've finally managed to get things sorted out between me and my partners and the Strategos website is finally up and running. Go to Strategos Network to check it out. Maybe you'll like it enough to ask us to do your website for you.

One of the worst things about doing a journal is that during the day you think about all these things you can talk about in the journal, but when it comes down to writing it down like this, all you can think about is, "Is it going to be boring to the reader or exciting? How can I make a boring incident exciting to read?" The things one goes through when one is trying to make an ordinary life exciting to others...

Sometimes I forget that this is about my feelings. I forget that you don't want to know what happened, but instead how I feel about what happened. So I'd better get back into that...

My back is screwed. It's repairable, but it's pissing me off. Pain is not a good thing and I really don't enjoy it. Back when I originally got the collapsed disc, the government wanted to put me on an invalid pension for the rest of my life. That got me down sooo much - I didn't want to be an invalid, so I rejected that and threw the application form away. I felt that if I was to go on a pension like that, then I'd start to believe that I was an invalid, and I'd never do anything with my life. So I decided life was more important to me than being on a pension. I've been that way ever since.

Every now and again it causes me problems, but never the same as that first time back in '93. I usually grit my teeth and get on with life. This time has been the most severe though.

One interesting thing about all this goes back to my friend doing Reiki on me.  I've since found out that Reiki isn't a healing method as such, but what it does is promote the 'patient' to spontaneously find proper methods of healing in their lives. Based on this, I'm beginning to feel that part of my healing that I've received from Reiki is the creation of a need to find healing from some practitioner. This bout of pain only started after I had Reiki done on me those weeks ago, and now I'm getting a solution applied by a chiropractor. Interesting.

It's late, I'm going to bed.

Ask, and it shall be given you;
seek, and ye shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
For every one that asketh, receiveth;
and he that seeketh, findeth;
and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

Matthew 7:7,8



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2001 Alan Howard